Unfortunately my relationship with this wonderful man ended because i had to move to another continent….it was painful and i felt very lonely…needless to say that he did get herpes from me…which made it even more painful. He wasn’t mad because he knew about it, but i was more angry at me because i took my medications, use the essentials oils, staying away from certains foods and it still didnt quite work. Anyway now back on the dating scene i meet this wonderful man, we’ve been dating for quite sometimes and he says he loves me. I’ve decided to tell him the truth today and risk being rejected…I am scared out of my mind, about his reaction and also about being rejected by him because i got very attached….
Since i contracted this disease, my life is very difficult, i stressed a lot and i get depressed very often. I try to move forward but so very often i cant get my mind of this painful experience, i think about suicide often i am not the person i was before my diagnosis….
part of me thinks i am better of alone, that i deserve to be alone…
I am so exhausted of having herpes on my mind days and nights…..

I seriously want out of this life at times…

Nathalie Foy says: Hopeless, you cannot stay alone like that. You need to visit a support group and maybe get therapy. I think you deserve to think about something else than herpes all day. I write about it all day and I never think about it as a threat. I know it so well, I feel I can even control it mentally. In your situation , I would consider suppressive therapy at least at the beginning. You can use acyclovir if you cannot afford Valtrex. I use all natural suppressive therapy but I can understand that at some point you may want to start taking medical suppressive treatment not for yourself but your date. Then you can tell your date that you are taking suppressive therapy and that greatly cuts the chances of transmission. If you transmitted herpes despite taking suppressive therapy then you should definitely use my natural protocol on top of that.
I believe focusing on herpes all day is probably one of the main reasons you probably transmitted it in the first place. I suggest you find a therapy, hypnotherapy, EFT… that helps you focus on how good you feel about yourself and helps you bring back some peace of mind in your life.

I was diagnosed with herpes in April of this year. I am over 50 and divorced after a very long marriage with the last few years of it being without much intimacy. When we separated, I went wild…sowed those wild oats so to speak, until I was diagnosed! The man I was seeing when I had my first outbreak called me after we had been together for a long weekend and asked me if I knew anything about his rash. I didn’t–but at the same time, I was starting to feel small sores, and a terrible burning when I urniated. Having had many urinary tract infections over my life, I initially thought that was what the burning was from; I also had a vaginal discharge which I knew wasn’t normal. I went to the doctor for the discharge and UTI symptoms and was told that because of the lesions that were beginning to appear, I likely had herpes. I was absolutely devestated and continue to have those feelings–especially when I feel what I think is an outbreak starting. I should have known better! I often times wish I had been more careful…I was stupid and now I have to live with my own stupidity.

The doctor told me that since this was my first outbreak, my partner had surely given it to me-as it takes 2-10 days from being infected to begin infecting its new host (in this case, me). My partner didn’t deny that he may have given it to me…and it really doesn’t matter who gave it to who. His response was, “It’s only herpes, at least it won’t kill me.”

Now as I try and date, I am finding it very, very difficult to tell potential partners that I have herpes. I don’t actually quite know how say it as I’m afraid no one will want me yet–I know that I must be honest.

When the outbreaks–if they are outbreaks, occur, I seem to start getting that burning feeling–as if I have a UTI, and also start feeling some pain where one of the previous lesions were located. I have used MelaGel, an ointment from Melaleuca, and I think it helps heal or elimante the lesion(s). Has anyone else used MelaGel? What I’m finding really frustrating though, is when I take the Acyclovar, it seems that things get better…until I either stop taking or finish the medication, as if the Acyclovar is merely holding everything at bay until the medication is out of my system, the process starts over. Has anyone else had this happen?

From the time I was young I used to get cold sores on my lips. That rarely happens anymore though I occasionally get one lesion just on the inside of one of my nostrils–it’s very painful and ugly, and generally happens if I’ve had a cold and have been blowing my nose a lot. Some years ago my doctor gave me acylovar cream to put on the nose lesion which helped immensley–until I quit using it–then the lesion would come right back. I finally had to quit using the cream and just let it come back..as if the lesion (the germ/bug/virus) had to go through its process and work its way out of my system.

I’m wondering if all of the medications for herpes act the same way. Is it possible that something other than Acyclovar might actually clear up and stop the outbreak whereby the Acyclovar just may not work for me? Would taking medication all the time prevent or minimize the chance of my passing it on to someone else?

And finally, over the last couple of months I’ve had bacterial vaginosis twice–the last time, a few weeks ago, I felt like I was starting to get another UTI and another lesion as well. Over the last three or four days, I’ve been feeling like I’m it’s all starting again..like I’m getting another lesion and those same UTI type burning symptoms…and now today I’m 99% positive I have another case of bacterial vaginosis as well! I’m wondering if the VB is possibly causing the herpes outbreaks or perhaps visa versa. I’m not actually sure if I’m having another herpes outbreak or not–though I KNOW I’ve got the VB infection. I always figure though that I should treat my potential symptoms as if I am having another outbreak.

Am I wasting my time…worrying too much? I’m confused, frustrated, angry at myself as well as whoever it was that gave this to me…and darn it, I just want answers. Has anybody else had similar experiences with the medication and/or the VB?

I WISH I had been more careful…and Herpes just isn’t something I want to tell my kids that I have…so I can tell them not to do what I did. I am very embarassed and ashamed…and disgusted with myself for my foolish actions.

My ex the one who gave me that disease left me after he was diagnosed with the disease…

Nathalie Says:
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us Hopeless. By doing so you have helped the dozens of people who write me regularly asking if they have to remain single for the rest of their lives. Your story is pure gold to them. It will help them believe that they CAN find TRUE LOVE with HERPES.

truly yours.